Why Change Feels Hard — and the Curve That Helps Leaders Make It Easier

The Leadership Moment That Catches Most People Off Guard

If you’ve ever been handed a major change at 4:00 p.m. and expected to guide your team through it by 9:00 a.m., you already know the truth: in today’s world, leaders are navigating change that arrives fully formed, often without their input, and almost always faster than their people can emotionally process it.

Your team will look to you for steadiness. Meanwhile, you’re still absorbing the news yourself.

This is the part of leadership we don’t talk about enough: the moment where strategy meets human emotion, and where the success of the change often hinges not on the plan, but on how well leaders can help people move through their initial reaction to it.

That emotional reaction is not random. It follows a predictable pattern. And that’s exactly why the Change Curve has become one of the most important tools for leaders who want to guide their teams with clarity and confidence.

Why the Dip Happens — And Why It Matters

Any change, whether it’s a restructuring or a new strategic direction, creates uncertainty. Neuroscience shows that uncertainty activates the brain’s threat response, reducing cognitive capacity and increasing defensiveness.^1 Even slight ambiguity can trigger the same neural pathways associated with physical danger.^2

In other words, before your team hears anything else, their nervous system is asking one question: “Am I safe?”

This is why energy almost always dips before it rises. And it’s why the Change Curve is so valuable: it gives leaders a way to understand, anticipate, and respond to the natural emotional rhythm of change, instead of being surprised or frustrated by it.

The Change Curve: A Reliable Map Through Uncertainty

Originally based on Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s work on human responses to loss^3 and later adapted for organizational life,^4 the Change Curve reveals how energy, engagement, and confidence shift as people make sense of disruption.

The model includes five stages:

Shock

The change lands. People are processing the unexpected and may go quiet or withdraw while they try to understand what it means.

Denial

The first dip in energy. People look for reasons the change won’t be significant or permanent. It’s a temporary buffer while their mind catches up.

Resistance

The lowest point on the curve. Frustration, fear, and worry emerge. Decision-making slows, motivation dips, and emotions run high. This isn’t disloyalty, it’s a very human response to uncertainty.

Exploration

Curiosity begins to return. People start asking questions, testing ideas, and imagining how the future might work.

Commitment

Confidence rises above the starting point. People integrate the change, rebuild momentum, and regain clarity about how to move forward.

Every leader sees these stages, whether they recognize them or not. The power of the Change Curve is that it helps you interpret what you’re seeing, and lead with intention instead of reacting on instinct.

The Curve Isn’t Linear: and Why That Matters More Than Most Leaders Realize

One of the biggest misconceptions about change is that people progress neatly from one One of the most common misunderstandings about change is the belief that people should move cleanly from one stage to the next. In theory, it sounds efficient: shock, then denial, then resistance, exploration, commitment, done.

But real human beings don’t follow diagrams.

In real life, people loop. They wobble. They make progress, lose momentum, and regain it again. Someone may be optimistic on Monday, slide into frustration on Tuesday, and regain curiosity by the end of the week.

This back-and-forth is not a setback, it’s how the brain incorporates new information and slowly rebuilds a sense of stability.^5

And here’s the part that often surprises leaders: the zig-zag is not a sign something is wrong. It’s evidence that the change is being processed.

I once worked with a leadership team that assumed their people were “backsliding” because a few team members who had embraced the change early suddenly began asking skeptical questions. But when we mapped those reactions against the Change Curve, something clicked for them: those individuals weren’t resisting the change, they were making sense of it.

Their questions weren’t a step backward. They were a sign of re-orientation.

Once the team saw that, the conversation shifted. Frustration softened. Leaders listened differently. And predictably, within a week, the same employees who had dipped were back in exploration, this time with more thoughtful ideas because they had taken the time to process their concerns.

When leaders expect smooth, linear progress, every emotional dip feels like a problem and their urgency can unintentionally increase pressure for the team.

But when leaders expect the natural wobble, they become more patient, more curious, and more effective at supporting people through it. The team, in turn, feels understood rather than judged.

Recognizing the zig-zag normalizes what people are already experiencing and builds psychological safety, which is one of the strongest predictors of high-performing, resilient teams.^6

The Change Curve isn’t a checklist. It’s a rhythm. And leaders who understand that rhythm can guide people far more confidently through it.

Where Effective Leadership Begins: With Your Own Place on the Curve

One of the most important, and most overlooked, aspects of leading through change is recognizing where you are on the curve.

Leaders don’t get a free pass through the emotional cycle. You experience the same dip your team does. The difference is that your response shapes theirs.

Before you can lead others, it helps to pause and ask yourself:

• Where am I on the curve today?

• What signs tell me that: emotions, energy levels, or behaviors?

• What would help me move one step forward?

Research shows that labeling emotional states actually reduces the neurological threat response and increases cognitive clarity.^7 This isn’t about self-focus; it’s about ensuring you’re grounded enough to help others find their footing.

When leaders skip this step, they often overcorrect, pushing their team too quickly toward acceptance because they haven’t acknowledged their own dip.

When they honor their own experience, they lead with steadiness instead of urgency.

The Leadership Skill That Makes the Curve Useful: Meeting People Where They Are

Understanding the Change Curve is helpful; applying it is transformational.

One of the most powerful shifts leaders can make is recognizing that people don’t need the same kind of support at every stage. What helps someone in Shock will frustrate someone in Exploration. What motivates a person in Commitment will be overwhelming to someone still in Resistance.

Leaders often get discouraged not because their instincts are wrong, but because their timing is off.

Your role isn’t to pull people forward or persuade them to “get on board.” Your role is to meet them exactly where they are; emotionally, cognitively, and energetically. And help them take the next step, not the final one.

Once you’ve grounded yourself, this becomes far easier. You’re no longer reacting to the emotion in front of you; you’re interpreting it. You begin to recognize the cues of each stage and adjust accordingly.

Here’s how leaders can support their teams through each stage of the curve:

In Shock:

People need acknowledgment more than explanation. A simple, “What did you hear just now?” helps them process the moment.

In Denial:

Gently invite them to name what feels uncertain. “What part of this feels hard to take in?” opens the door without forcing acceptance.

In Resistance:

Listen for the fear underneath the pushback. “What concerns you most?” creates space for honest conversation. Research shows that naming fears reduces their intensity.^8

In Exploration:

Encourage small steps and low-risk experiments. “What’s one idea we could test?” helps rebuild momentum. Small wins have been shown to accelerate progress and motivation.^9

In Commitment:

Reinforce progress and clarify what’s working. “How can we build on this?” helps people integrate new habits and confidence.

Meeting people where they are doesn’t slow the change down, it makes it more sustainable. This approach deepens psychological safety, which is one of the strongest predictors of learning, collaboration, and resilience in teams.^10

Why the Change Curve Works: The Research Behind It

The reason the Change Curve is effective is because it aligns with what we know from multiple fields:

• Neuroscience confirms that naming emotions reduces the threat response and increases cognitive capacity.^11

• Social psychology shows that people adapt more quickly when their emotional experience is acknowledged.^12

• Organizational research demonstrates that teams built on trust and psychological safety outperform during times of uncertainty.^13

The model doesn’t make change easy. It makes it understandable. And when people understand what they’re feeling, they can move through it rather than getting stuck inside it.

The Leaders Who Thrive Aren’t the Ones Who Skip the Dip

They’re the ones who know how to walk through it, first themselves, then with their team. They understand that resistance is not a problem to eliminate, but a signal to interpret. They communicate steadily, normalize the zig-zag, and help people take one step at a time.

These leaders build cultures where people don’t fear uncertainty, they navigate it.

Because change will always bring a dip. But chaos? That part is optional.

Footnotes

1. Lieberman, M. D. Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect. Crown, 2013.

2. Rock, D. “SCARF: A Brain-Based Model for Collaborating with and Influencing Others.” NeuroLeadership Journal, 2008.

3. Kübler-Ross, E. On Death and Dying. Macmillan, 1969.

4. Kotter, J. P. Leading Change. Harvard Business Review Press, 1996.

5. Oreg, S., & Berson, Y. “Person–organization fit and individual reactions to organizational change.” Journal of Applied Psychology, 2011.

6. Edmondson, A. The Fearless Organization. Wiley, 2019.

7. Creswell, J. D., et al. “Neural correlates of emotional labeling.” Psychological Science, 2007.

8. Gross, J. J. “Emotion regulation: Conceptual foundations.” Handbook of Emotion Regulation, 2007.

9. Amabile, T., & Kramer, S. The Progress Principle. Harvard Business School Press, 2011.

10. Edmondson, A. C. “Psychological safety and learning behavior in teams.” Administrative Science Quarterly, 1999.

11. Lieberman, M. D. “Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling and the brain.” Psychological Science, 2007.

12. Weick, K. Sensemaking in Organizations. Sage, 1995.

13. McKinsey Global Institute. “Organizational health and transformation,” 2020.